


The 5 Times Only Michael Noticed Soren's Crush on Dan

by 1The_Quiet_Samurai1



Category: Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Just pure fluff!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1The_Quiet_Samurai1/pseuds/1The_Quiet_Samurai1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think the title says all right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 5 Times Only Michael Noticed Soren's Crush on Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Just something else I came up with. Oh and I think I'm writing something for the Avengers too. I just watched the movie again recently lol.  
> Enjoy!

1.) Soren is Continuously Staring at Dan- (Unintentionally of Course)

“Michael, that whole society is nuts. Just because it’s New York that is constantly in danger most of the time doesn’t mean squat. What about the rest of the world? I’m sure the Avengers would-” Soren stopped paying attention to Dan a while ago. Not that he meant to not pay attention. He just... got distracted. By Dan. He didn’t know when this started happening, but it happened. On occasion. Okay... most of the time. Like ninety perc- no, ninety-five percent of the time. In the past three days. Soren bit his lip as Dan waved his hands frantically in the air while trying to prove his point which was... Oh yeah, he wasn’t paying attention. Oh well. Next time. Possibly... Maybe?

In all honesty he had no idea.

His mind just wandered aimlessly when it came to Dan. He didn’t really know why, not that he’s thought about it. It just happened. Dan is just... interesting when he rants... Wait. Was he staring again? Oops. Huh... Dan has brown eyes... Wait. No. He’s not staring. “Stop staring. Look at Michael, he’s talking. Oh wait. Dan’s talking again. Huh. Dan looks very attractive at the moment...” Soren thought.

“Oh please Dan, the one main thing that tells you someone is attracted to you, is that they’re staring at you.” said Michael. He sighed. “Even though you’re not talking. Or doing anything.” Soren wasn’t paying attention. Luckily, neither were Dan or Katie when Michael kicked Soren in the leg to get him to stop staring.

“I don’t know Michael, really, it’s by their eyes-,” Dan continued as Michael gave Soren a questioning look. Soren just ate his food. He suddenly had a LOT to think about. So did Michael apparently. He had to figure out if Soren was crushing on Dan and didn’t know it. He and Katie had made a bet, and they had no rules to it so obviously he had to do SOMETHING. However... both Soren and Dan can be dense and times so... he would have to do something about that too. It was strange. Katie, although she’d made that bet all those months ago, seemed oblivious to Soren’s staring. Oh **** he’s staring again. Eventually Dan’s going to notice. Michael kicked Soren again. This time jumped a little, but didn’t attract any attention which was good.

Soren’s food suddenly became more interesting to him. “Yup. He’s hooked. And he probably doesn’t know it.” thought Michael. And yup. He’s definitely going to do something about that. Behind Katie’s back of course.

This is going to take some strategic planning...

First, he has to talk to Soren obviously. This aimless staring is just… such a rookie move. Soren should know better. He really should know better. It’s- it’s Soren for crying out loud.

2.) Soren is Continuously Staring at Dan (On Purpose This Time)

Soren was really making this difficult for Michael. It wasn’t the fact that Soren had left last night before Michael could talk to him, or the fact that he hasn’t had a chance all day either. Nope, it had to do with the fact that Soren was now still staring at Dan, but it seemed like now, he knows he’s doing it. It bugged him to no end. Michael had to deal with this. He couldn’t let his friend go on like this! Michael looked at the clock on his desk. Four-thirty. Hm… maybe he’ll snag Soren before he leaves work. Yeah that might work. Oh he should probably let Soren know. That may be a good idea. Damn it, no one is even noticing him! It’s SO obvious! Ugh, Michael needed to give his co-workers a lesson in noticing certain stuff.

Now. How should he get Soren’s attention without attracting attention? Wait, that’s it! Michael got out a piece of scrap paper and quickly scribbled something down. He then crumpled it up and aimed it at Soren’s head. The only thing he could do now is pray that Soren’ didn’t move out of the way. With that thought in mind, Michael threw it. It sailed across the hallway unnoticed and hit Soren’s head just above his ear. The guy shot him a weird look. Michael sighed, and mouthed “read it!”

Soren didn’t know what he was up to, or what he wanted, but he found the note and read it anyway. “Need to talk to you after work!” Alright then. “Need” probably didn’t need to be underlined twice, but it got the message across. Soren looked back at Michael and nodded. There was only an hour left. What could Michael possibly want to talk to him about? Not that he really cared, but you could never tell with that guy. Well, he had an hour to figure it out, maybe-

“Uh hey Soren,” Dan’s voice instantly dragged Soren out of his thoughts, “could I have that file on the Super Man research?” Damn it, he always caught Soren’s attention. He was really lost wasn’t he? Soren snapped out of his stance and handed him the file. He silently cursed his heart for speeding up as their figure tips brushed against each other. 

“Thanks.” said Dan. He smiled, and Soren couldn’t help but smile in return. His eyes followed Dan as he walked off.

Michael sighed again. He wondered if the fact that Soren’s eyes glanced downward as he watched Dan, registered in Soren’s mind. Probably not. Oh boy… he and Soren really needed to talk. How would he bring it up though? “Hey Soren glad I could catch you, oh by the way I know that you’re totally crushing on Dan and I’ve seen you stare at him all day?” Yeah. That would go over well. No, he had to do it so Soren won’t be too mad at him for any reason. Maybe he’ll just bring up the fact that Soren’s been staring at him and he was just wondering about it. Yeah. That could work! Now that he has a plan, he can put it in motion in- damn it- forty minutes. He’s already done his essay now. So that means forty minutes of free time. Sweet!

*Forty Minutes Later*

Soren walked over to Michael’s desk. He was busy writing something down. Probably something about this evening’s topic. It was his turn to come up with something. “Hey Mike, wanted to talk?” he asked. Michael glanced up at him.

“Yeah. Look, for these past few days I’ve noticed that you… stare at Dan. Like a lot. Is tha- what’s up with that? Are- do- ah screw it. Should I be blunt?”

“Please.”

“Do you have a thing for Dan?”

At first, Soren didn’t say anything. He seemed to be contemplating something. Perhaps he really didn’t know this whole time. Soren licked his lips and sighed.

“How is it that out of the entire office, you are the only one to have noticed? I mean, no offence, but it’s you. Even Katie should have noticed something.”

Huh. Screw Michael’s earlier statement then. “Okay so you know about it. But why do you not, you know, do something about it. Dan’s gay, he told us like, years ago man. So why not?” Sure, it might be a little unfair to screw with the odds for a bet, but hey. He had a point so don’t blame him! Soren looked away and stared off into space. “I… I’ve been trying to work things out okay? Yeah asking someone out is easy for me, but Dan is… Dan. Ah you know what he’s like.” Soren said. Michael shrugged and nodded, understanding what he meant.

“But dude, seriously. Go for it. Maybe drop a few hints or something.” said Michael. Yup, if Katie ever found out he screwed with the betting odds, she’ll beat him to a pulp… She’s stronger than she looks, and scarier. Soren sighed. “Alright. But if he doesn’t get anything. YOU are coming up with a new plan got it?” he said. Michael nodded. Finally!

3.) The Three Times Soren Flirted with Dan

1.) A Vending Machine Apocalypse? What?

“Damn it. Soren do you have change? It ate mine again. How come it’s never you guys and just me?” asked Dan. Currently, Soren and Dan were grabbing snacks from the vending machine that was close to their work area. “Maybe it has something against you.” Soren said absentmindedly. He was a bit distracted by how Dan smelled sort of like cinnamon… and he didn’t really like cinnamon which was the weird part. But he liked Dan’s smell. Again… weird.

“What would a vending machine have against me? But, uh, I guess I did kick it a few times. It was its fault though, it keeps eating my money and not giving me my food!” said Dan. Soren smirked. Dan’s little pout was just so adorable. Damn it, he couldn’t help it! “It’s just going to get back at me when the robot invasion happens isn’t it? But when that time comes buddy, I’ll have a body guard!”

This time Soren laughed. Michael’s words replayed in his mind. Should he? “Come on Dan, you don’t need a body guard, you need a booty guard.” said Soren. Awe crap. That was horrible. Downright horrible. Utterly, despicably, disgraceful to the flirtatious men of this century! He HAD to do better than that! Soren mentally slapped himself for saying such a stupid thing. He was just thankful Michael wasn’t there.

“I’m not talking about just one body guard either, nope, I’m talking about a group of maybe… ten, twenty…”

Soren sighed. It seemed as though his words didn’t register in Dan’s mind. So, he said the next best thing.

“Dan, you’re threatening a vending machine.”

2.) Ugh, Dictionaries.

It was a lousy day outside because of rain, and the gang were all busy at work. Well, Soren pretended to be busy anyway. He was pretty sure Michael was doing the same. Besides, it was basically lunch time, so they could just work on their projects in the afternoon right? Right. Soren tore his gaze away from the downpour outside to Daniel just across the hallway. He wasn’t pretending to be busy. He never pretended to be busy at work. He was always busy. That was one thing Soren admired (and dare he think it,) loved, about Dan. He was always a hard worker, and it was hard for him to get distracted.

Then it hit him. Dan was alone for the first time that day. Perhaps he should try again after his lame attempt at flirting the other day. He had to make up for that horrible moment. That wasted a total of three seconds. Normally he would think of one first, but he figured he might not have time since Dan is basically talking to someone else every five minutes. For a nerdy guy he was popular at work for some reason. Soren looked around to check to see if anyone was heading to Dan’s office. Nope. Not yet. He still had time.

Soren stood up and made his way over to Dan’s office. He knocked on the door three times before stepping in. Dan merely glanced up with a smile that made Soren instantly smile in return. “Stop being an idiot Bowie and get it over with damn it!” his brain scolded him. Soren cleared his throat.

“So, what are you doing?” he asked. He sighed inwardly. That was so not getting it over with damn it. What was his problem? It was just Dan. But… then again, it was Dan. Besides, he knew what Dan was doing. He was-

“I’m working on an essay about horror movies. Wait. I told- you know- I- talked about this before.”

Soren smiled at his awkwardness. That was so Dan. But he decided that he’d better say something fast or Dan would, well, “Dan out” on him again. Not that he would mind, but still. “Oh yeah right. I just- forgot. Uh, so what are you doing for lunch?” he said. Dan looked back at his computer and sighed.

“I might have to skip it today and finish this. I’m only half way through it! Oh hey Michael.” Just as Dan said that, said person walked in and announced it was lunchtime. Finally! Soren was starving! But he was also a little annoyed. He gave Michael an irritated look and he got the message instantly and smirked. It seemed as though he planned on not miss out on Soren’s flirting. Soren silently sighed. Damn it Michael. Michael made a gesture that said, “Flirt with him already damn it!”

Soren glanced at Dan then looked back at Michael who gestured towards Dan. He then pretended to be looking at some books Dan had out on a shelf. Instead of striking up a conversation, Soren decided that he’d just say something flirtatious.

“You know Dan, you’re like a dictionary,” he said, but Dan didn’t respond, “you add meaning to my life.” Soren glanced at Michael who gave a thumbs up over his shoulder. Dan still didn’t respond at first. Then his face lit up which made Soren smile. Did he-

“Hey, Soren could you pass me that dictionary over there? I just figured out an awesome statement but I can’t think of a certain word.” said Dan.

Nope. No he didn’t.

Soren sighed quietly but passed him the book anyway. At Dan’s words Michael turned around. Soren looked at him and he just shrugged. “Well, I guess we’re gonna get lunch now.” said Michael. He practically dragged Soren out of Dan’s office and into his own office. “Okay, I personally think you need to be more direct with Dan. He’s obviously totally oblivious. I think you need to just ask him out. Ugh, Dictionary. My arch nemesis…” he said.

Soren sighed. “I just want to try one more time. If he doesn’t get that one, then… maybe I’ll be more direct.”

“Maybe isn’t good enough Soren! This is Dan we’re talking about, I think he just barely understands emotions. So…”

“Wait. Your arch nemesis is a book filled with words?”

“SOREN!”

“Okay! Okay! I got it! Just… just let me try one more. I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“Fine. Whatever. And for the record, Soren, there are many, many complicated words in those things.”

“Dictionaries?”  


“Do not speak of my nemesis. Now, we shall eat because I’m STARVING. Let’s go already!”

3.) Just One More.

That evening, the gang met at their regular diner. Soren purposely avoided Michael’s glances. It had already been fifteen minutes damn it, and Soren hasn’t flirted at all. He hasn’t even looked at Dan yet- well okay, he glanced once. Once. Once, was not good enough. Michael glanced at Dan and Katie who were in an intense argument about… something. He then got himself angled properly in order to kick Soren. Then he did so. Soren finally looked at him and it was obvious that he was sighing inside. Michael nodded his head discretely towards Dan. Soren was trying very hard not to roll his eyes.

“Yay I won! Wait. So, now what do we do?” asked Katie. Apparently, the two were done arguing.

“I have the perfect topic- What would you do in a dinosaur apocalypse?” asked Dan.

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs exist right?” Soren said as he took a sip of his water. Michael gave Soren an impressed look. Dan shrugged. “Yeah I guess if you look at reptiles. If you look at-” he said. Oh ****, he was on another one of his adorable rants. Soren wanted to punch something. Specifically Michael who was about to burst out laughing. Soren frowned at him, but said nothing as Michael smirked. Katie wasn’t even phased, which meant that his pick up line wasn’t detected. Oh boy…

Alright. It’s time for something new. Dan clearly doesn’t know anything about pick-up lines or flirting.

4.) The One Time Soren Accidentally Earns Himself a New Nickname (Curtesy of Michael of Course.)

Yes, it was another boring day at the office. So far anyway, Soren technically hasn’t started yet. Neither has Michael. “So, when are you going to ask Dan out? You can’t not do it forever you know.” said Michael. Soren sighed.

“I know, I know, I just- I need time. I’ve got to figure out how to do it.”

“What’s so hard about saying: “Dan, I’ve liked you for the longest time, and I would-”

“Shut up! He’s coming!” Soren whispered.

Michael waved his hands in defeat and reached for his coffee from the machine. “Whatever. Hey Dan.” said Michael. Dan smiled as he walked up to them.  


“Hey. So, what are you guys talking about?” he asked.

“Oh noth-”

“We were talking about whether or not you know what pick-up lines are.”

Soren suddenly gave a small gasp and just as he was reaching for his coffee, he flinched and the cup flew off the machine. Surprisingly, none of it splashed on the floor. Unfortunately, it all splashed onto Soren’s pants. Michael nearly did a spit take all over Dan, and tried not to burst out laughing. That would be mean. “Oh man, coffee down the wrong way!” chuckled Michael as he coughed. But... oh what the heck. He can’t resist the other thing. Plus, Soren was blushing and that made it even better! It was also quite obvious that he was trying very hard not to yell out in pain. This machine made the coffee scalding hot for some reason.

“Oh gees, I uh have extra pants in my car, I can go get them for you.” said Dan. Michael looked at him. Soren nodded, as he didn’t trust his voice at the moment.

“Why...”

“For a situation just like this. Duh. I’ll be back in five.” said Dan. With that said, he left. Soren let out an aggravated sigh of frustration. This wasn’t looking like a good day. That was not... well, good. It didn’t help that Michael was there.

“Ha! Oh man, dude your face is totally red right now! This is great. Plus, looks like you’ve finally made your way into Dan’s pants.” he said. He finally burst out laughing like an idiot. Ugh. What a great friend.

NOT.

“Oh, you- shut up!” was all that Soren could say. He was just glad no one else was there. Michael’s laughter died down. “I’ll see ya later... Coffee Crotch.” Michael fled to his office before Soren could pound him- or at least, punch him in the gut. Michael was a big guy, lazy yes, but stronger than people think. He won’t go down easily. There was also the fact that he won the argument about “Soren Vs. Michael.”

“Okay Soren. Time to up your game. BIG TIME.” thought Soren.

5.) The One Time When Soren (FINALLY!) Secretly Confessed

Okay. Okay. This was the day. It was time. Time to ask Dan out on a date and hope that he’ll say yes. Oh g- what if he said no? But.. no one’s ever said no to Soren before, so... why should this be any different?

“Because Dan’s a dude, dude.” his mind replied. Shut up brain. He can do this. Just... picture Dan as a girl. Wait. That’s weird. Okay, then... ooh, that’s it!

Before the gang went out to dinner, he pulled Dan aside. “Um,” Soren swallowed. It was now or never. “So, uh, Dan I was wondering if you wanted to participate in an experiment of mine?” Yes, it was one more pick up line, but he really couldn’t think of anything else. Dan shrugged and smiled. Damn his smile! Soren’s breathing hitched. Hm. 

Did his pants shrink in the dryer or was it just bec- no yeah it was the other thing. “Uh, sure what is it?”

“It’s um, me finding out if you’d like to go out with me.” Soren said quickly. Before Dan could respond, Soren pulled him in and kissed him. It was...

“Wow!” Soren thought. He couldn’t believe this was finally happening. It was... different that’s for sure. Different then kissing a girl, but it was nice. More than nice it was-

“FINALLY!” Michael’s voice shocked both co-workers and they pulled apart instantly. Soren tried to stop the blush from appearing on his face. At least it was dark out so that helped. But damn it was hot! Oh wait. That was probably just him.

“Wait. MICHAEL! You screwed with the odds of our bet didn’t you! Damn it Michael!” yelled Katie. Wait. What?

“Michael... what did you do?” asked Dan. Soren wasn’t sure if he had agreed to anything yet. Damn this was nerve wracking. He didn’t trust his voice at all, so he didn’t speak. But he did glare at Michael. “NOTHING. I swear- okay. I may have tampered with a bet Katie and I made a while back, BUT I helped you guys out because I cared! I swear!” said Michael. Dan suddenly wrapped an arm around Soren’s waist. Soren’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything. He cursed himself for acting like a frickin’ middle school girl. That didn’t matter though. What did matter was the fact that Dan practically said yes!

“Yeah well, just don’t make bets about us anymore okay?” said Dan. He smiled at Soren who smiled back. Michael sighed. “I still won. Katie?” he said. Katie slapped him in the face.

“Ow! ****! Katie! That was my face!”

“Yeah well, it’s my money!”

Soon the two were in another argument that could possibly last a long while. “So...” said Soren. “Is- is that a yes?” Dan smiled. Then he leaned in and kissed him.

“Does that answer your question? So, how long do you think it’ll take the other staff members to notice that we’re together?” asked Dan. Soren thought on it.

“I’d say... more than a month. Let’s face it Jack didn’t even know about Hank and Vivian were going out until like, half a year later. I think that says something.” he laughed.

“Right. Well, now what should we do?”

“I... have an idea...”

After one more kiss, the two left Katie and Michael in the parking lot and headed to Soren’s place. Hey, they still had half an hour...

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> By the way... "Coffee Crotch" doesn't actually belong to me lol. It belongs to the writers of the great Canadian tv show Corner Gas! :D
> 
> I have to say. I think this turned out a lot better than my other one lol.


End file.
